Properly, I had an attention-grabbing factor occur final week. I had an individual depart just a few feedback on considered one of my A2D Fb posts that actually made me indignant. After which I made a separate submit about these feedback, together with some footage of our music room, and that post took off, with over 484K views and 2.5K comments as of this morning.
I’d say about 70% of the individuals who responded understood what I used to be making an attempt to say. However about 30% responded with issues like, “Oh, don’t let imply feedback get you down,” and “Why do you submit on the web of you solely need optimistic suggestions?” These individuals missed the purpose…or perhaps I didn’t make my level clear as a result of you may solely say *a lot* in a Fb submit earlier than it will get too lengthy and boring and nobody reads it. So I’m going to strive once more in a weblog submit.
First, let me make it abundantly clear. I don’t care about imply feedback. I don’t whine and complain about imply feedback. There was a time when imply feedback actually affected me. That point ended a few years in the past. And now, after 17 years of running a blog and placing my tasks and our home on-line, you higher consider I’ve developed a really thick pores and skin by now. If I wished to whine and complain about imply feedback, there could be lots to whine and complain about.
I common about one fool a day on my Fb web page, with a few of them being actual nutjobs, whose solely aim is to insult me. And I’m not speaking concerning the individuals who say, “I don’t like your kitchen cupboard shade.” I don’t even put these feedback within the “imply” class. That’s only a particular person expressing their opinion, to which they’re entitled. I “like” their remark (to point that I’ve learn it) and transfer on. They don’t harm my emotions, and I couldn’t care much less if some random particular person on the web doesn’t like my kitchen.
No, after I discuss imply feedback (or feedback which can be clearly meant to harm or insult me), I’m speaking about feedback like this one from this one who left an entire slew of feedback like this on a number of of my posts…
I actually laughed at that. 🤣 There’s completely nothing about this tiny little man-child that I might ever take severely or take to coronary heart. Curiously, after I hovered my cursor over his identify, the very first thing it mentioned below his identify was that he’s the proprietor/designer at Gregory Jordan Interiors in Chicago. I obtained curious, googled that identify, and was led to his Houzz account. Then I gave him some free promoting by pasting a few of his room designs into my response to him, and that actually set him off. 🤣
I’ll even give him extra free promoting now! Should you’re within the Chicago space, and also you’re on the lookout for an inside designer (ASID-certified, even!), and he looks like your sort of man, look him up! Give him a name! Once more, that’s Gregory Jordan Interiors in Chicago.
These are simply two of his feedback. In all, he left about six or seven feedback, all the identical tenor and tone, and all calling me an entire slew of inventive issues and insulting my tasks. AND I LAUGHED AT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. I used to be extremely entertained, as a result of the extra I laughed and responded calmly to him, even giving him free promoting in all of my responses, the angrier he obtained, and the extra entertained I used to be. 🤣 Possibly it is a character flaw in me, however I typically get pleasure from riling up petty individuals. I discover it to be fairly enjoyable and entertaining. And I common about three of most of these whackos every week. So if I wished to whine and complain about imply feedback, I’d have PLENTY to work with. I might in all probability make whining and complaining about meanies a full-time job. However I’d relatively chortle at them and poke and them and watch them get indignant and unhinged. That’s rather more entertaining. 😀
All of that to say that I don’t care about imply feedback. I don’t know how you can make that any clearer. So none of this has something to do with imply feedback or somebody hurting my emotions. However that doesn’t imply that I don’t get indignant at some feedback, and that’s what occurred right here. Once more, I wasn’t indignant as a result of this particular person harm my emotions. I used to be indignant for different causes that I’ll clarify.
It began when an actual property agent from Louisiana commented on considered one of my posts and mentioned,
“You positively want to start out a sequence on how you can deliver the worth of homes down doing your personal DIY.”
However that wasn’t the one remark she left. She continued to double down, and later mentioned this,
“I didn’t let you know what to do. I simply mentioned you must educate the category on how you can devalue your property when making an attempt to promote it.”
This one? Oh yeah, this one made me indignant. However right here’s the deal. She didn’t make me indignant as a result of she harm my emotions. This lady couldn’t harm my emotions if she tried. I’m assured sufficient in my DIY skills that there’s completely no means that some random actual property agent from Louisiana might make me really feel dangerous regardless of how laborious she tried. And I’m additionally assured sufficient in the truth that every part I’ve performed to our home has elevated the worth of the home. I imply, it might take an actual fool to say in any other case. The submit she commented on was my studio, however even when an individual doesn’t like my specific adorning model, you’d need to be an entire moron to say that what I did decreased the worth of our home.
So why was I so indignant at her feedback? For one purpose…
As a result of as a DIY and adorning blogger who has made it my mission in life to encourage householders to design and beautify their properties for themselves with out consistently worrying about what some random, attainable, future proprietor may assume, THIS is the very sort of particular person I’ve been railing in opposition to for 17 years now. She randomly appeared in a number of feedback on my web page and have become the very face of that mindset that I hate a lot — that mindset that retains householders scared to make their home a house for themselves.
Completely nowhere in my submit had I discussed something about us promoting our home. Should you’ve been round right here for lengthy, you realize that we have now no intention of promoting. We purchased this home with the intention of constructing it our endlessly dwelling. And but, what was her instant go-to mindset? That what I’ve performed has “…devalu[ed] your property when making an attempt to promote it.” She had no regard for the truth that WE live on this home proper now. She had no thought how lengthy we’ve been right here. She had no thought if we truly plan on promoting sooner or later. She knew none of that, however her go-to was that I’ve devalued it for the NEXT particular person. In different phrases, I’m not truly imagined to stay in and luxuriate in my dwelling. I’m not imagined to make choices that make me glad because the house owner. I’m solely imagined to protect what I purchased, presumably within the state through which I discovered it, in order that the subsequent particular person will likely be extra enticed to purchase it with out all my tasks mucking up the short sale.
Once more, if this had been just a few web rando, it in all probability wouldn’t have made me so indignant. However it is a actual property agent who has profound affect on householders. Individuals are likely to hearken to actual property brokers. And whereas I do know for a indisputable fact that not all actual property brokers are like this (there are some GREAT ones on the market, and in case you’re within the Waco space, I do know one I might extremely advocate), what I do know is that this mindset isn’t uncommon amongst them. They’re like cockroaches. The place there’s one, there will likely be a thousand extra.
These individuals have been my nemesis for 17 years now. Whereas I’ve been over right here in my nook of the web screaming on the prime of my digital lungs, making an attempt to persuade householders to make their properties their very own, and making an attempt to show individuals how you can DIY issues in case you don’t have the finances to rent out issues like constructing bookcases or refinishing hardwood flooring, I’m working in opposition to hundreds of individuals on the opposite aspect of that argument, making householders scared to make modifications, scared to place their personalities into their very own properties, as a result of the subsequent proprietor won’t prefer it.
What number of instances have I written about this on my weblog? What number of years have I been preaching this similar message? I regarded again to see if I might discover the primary submit I ever wrote about this matter, and the earliest one I might discover was from 2012. I’d be shocked if there wasn’t one earlier than that, although, as a result of I’ve had the identical message for practically twenty years now. And I’ve recognized I’ve been preventing different voices with the other message, so when this Louisiana actual property agent determined to point out her face on my web page together with her message that was diametrically against mine, I obtained indignant. I didn’t get indignant as a result of she harm my emotions. She doesn’t have the ability to do this. However she (and the hundreds of actual property brokers like her) does have the ability to affect hundreds of house owners together with her message, and that message makes me indignant.
And when you think about that the voices of those actual property brokers who all the time drill into house owner’s heads about “future consumers” are additionally combined in with the voices of shelter magazines frequently telling us what’s “in” and what’s “out” for this 12 months, and what traits we have to eliminate, and what new traits we have to undertake to stay present, it’s a surprise that any householders can actually discover their very own model and infuse their dwelling with their very own tastes and personalities. I genuinely need all of those individuals to close up.
Living proof, as I opened up my laptop computer laptop simply this morning, and opened up a brand new tab on my browser that routinely opens to the MSN dwelling web page, the very first article that appeared within the higher left hand nook was this one.
These articles are in every single place. I see a minimum of one a day. I obtained curious, so I clicked on it, and…effectively…in line with this text, I now must repaint each floor in my home to stay “present”.
And what even is that this? “The usual double self-importance and bathtub and bathe combo are getting drained.” What? Are you freaking kidding me?
And I additionally must swap out my gallery partitions, though I completely love gallery partitions, for big artwork.
And this must be essentially the most tone-deaf factor I’ve ever learn. Cease shopping for the inexpensive art work that matches your finances. All of us now want commissioned art work.
I instructed little miss Louisiana actual property agent that she will go pound sand. And so can each different actual property agent telling householders that each determination they make for his or her dwelling must be with the long run proprietor in thoughts. And on prime of that, I’ll additionally inform these shelter magazines to go pound sand with their silly “what’s out and in for this 12 months” lists. I despise all of them as a result of each single considered one of them goes in opposition to the message that I’ve been making an attempt to get throughout to householders for practically twenty years now. I’ve been beating this drum for the final 17 years, and I’ll proceed to take action so long as I can.
And the subsequent actual property agent who exhibits up on my Fb web page or my weblog and tells me that I should be occupied with the long run proprietor will get the identical remedy as this one as a result of I’ll use each alternative and each instance that presents itself to me as a chance to proceed preaching my message, and that’s this…
Owners, in case you have no plan to promote your house within the very close to future, make your house your personal. Don’t make choices primarily based on what some faceless, anonymous, attainable, potential future proprietor of your house could or could not like, as a result of you haven’t any thought what they’ll need or like. Make your own home YOUR dwelling when you have it.
Addicted 2 Adorning is the place I share my DIY and adorning journey as I transform and beautify the 1948 fixer higher that my husband, Matt, and I purchased in 2013. Matt has M.S. and is unable to do bodily work, so I do the vast majority of the work on the home on my own. You can learn more about me here.
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